When Love Potions Go Wrong
by IzzBot
Summary: Donna and Jackie want their men to worship them and they use a love potion for that purpose. But what happens when their plan goes terribly, terribly wrong? SLASH!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Not mine! None of it! I am a sad, pathetic person who owns nothing! Thanks for reminding me. Humph.**

**A/N: Ok, folks. This is a silly bit of slash. I have no idea 'bout rating, but I think T will suffice. Enjoy.**

Out in the deep wilderness of Wisconsin there lived a woman of mysterious nature. A witch; she may be called. But, really, she was just a normal person trying to make a living – by selling potions…

Love potions…

Long black hair flowing down her back and gypsy eyes; she searched the crowds for potential customers. Ah, she spots some! Young girls- so naïve by custom. A tall girl with bright red hair and a tiny brunette. Walking together, completely unawares that they had been chosen.

The short girl flinches as the lady's long, pointed fingernails (so beautifully bejeweled!) touched her shoulder.

"Hello, dears. How about you come by my booth later and look at my lovely concoctions. I believe you will be _quite _interested in what I have to offer," she said with a voice that seemed to come out of the wind itself.

The brunette gasped and flitted away. "Sorry, lady, but _no thanks._" Turning her head to her friend, she ordered, "Come on, _Donna_. Let's go buy some jewelry at that booth up there!"

As they floated away into the distance, the witch thought, _Oh, they'll be back. And I will have the perfect potion at the ready._

Then she let out a big, cackly laugh, _Hahahahahahhaha… hahahaha!_

Then she remembered how clichéd that was – and at risk of growing a wart on her nose, she settled with an evil grin.

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"Oh my God, Donna! I can't wait to try out these potions on the boys! You know, at first I thought that lady was kinda weird, but we got a _great _deal."

Donna, of course, realized that paying _any _amount of money for a _love _potion, was most definitely NOT a good deal. She just resignedly said, "Sure, Jackie."

Her friend bounced along next to her, laughing with excitement; two pink bottles clutched tightly in her hands.

The woman had told them that with just a drop of the liquid from the diamond-capped vials, the one that they loved would fall head over heels for them. They both already had their loves, but just were not satisfied.

They wanted to be in control…

To have the power…

Their men had been ignoring them as of late, and they could not have that!

The bottle had specific instructions on the label – in the form of a poem.

_If there is one that your heart desires,_

_Serve them a drop of this sweet potion;_

_And place it on thy love's sweet lips._

_Without delay, love transpires;_

_But (make sure!) that it is no more than a sip,_

_Because, then, your love's devotion,_

_Will go to another…_

**A/N: Review and I will love you forever!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

Eric's POV

The girls have been acting funny all day. All giggly…

I'm worried.

Donna doesn't _giggle. _She is more – sophisticated – than that. Except in the circle, that is.

And Jackie has that look in her eye: that evil, little twinkle that I despise so much. And she hasn't said one mean thing all day.

"Forman, why are the girls baking?" says Hyde, suspicion in his voice.

See – baking – weird!

"I'm scared, Eric. I think Jackie's trying to poison me!" Kelso looks genuinely concerned, waving about. "See, it was our anniversary last week, and I don't think she liked what I got her as a present."

Fez glances up from the deck of cards he's shuffling and asks, "Well, what did you get her?"

"A frog! Who doesn't like a frog?! It was all hopping around… all slimy and green and stuff. I spent all day trying to catch it!" Kelso's face is crestfallen. "And then - when she opened her eyes to find my bud, Froggie, in her hand - she screamed and threw it out the window!"

Hyde leans forward in his chair. "Wait, are you telling me you _caught _Jackie a frog for your anniversary?"

"Yeah. A lot of good that did!"

Fez smiles happily at his cards, showing us the pair of aces he has. "Why did you not just buy her one from the pet store?"

Kelso jumps up from the couch. "Damn, Fez! Why didn't you suggest that _before_?"

Fez is saved from answering, though, because at that moment the girls walk down the stairs; cookies in hand.

Jackie hands out the cookies (oatmeal raisin) and with a big smile, says, "Eat up, boys. We made these special!"

"Oh, goody!" Fez lunges for them, but Jackie slaps his hands away. "These aren't for _you, _Fez! They're for Michael and Eric."

Hyde protests, "Ah, come on!"

I grab a handful of crumbling cookies, giving Donna a kiss on the cheek. I think, _Aw, my girlfriend loves me._

But after one bite I feel something… happening.

The cookie seems to stick halfway down my throat, and it burns there until it finally disintegrates.

My heart thumping fast in my chest. But… my… head… is… so… heavy.

My body flames hot… and then I am falling.

**A/N: Review, please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

Hyde's POV

Eric and Kelso have fallen simultaneously to the ground and I am so glad that I didn't sneak those cookies like I was planning. "What the hell did you guys put in those cookies?"

Jackie falls to Kelso's side, giving him kisses all over his somber face, murmuring apologies. Donna stands holding the plate of cookies, dumbstruck. She then stares down at them in shock; before throwing the whole plateful into the shower.

Fez pushes Jackie away, wanting to see what has happened to his friend. Seeing as how Donna is being completely not helpful, I lean over Eric to see if he's dead or not.

I reach out to feel for a pulse on his skinny wrist when his eyes start to flutter. I gesture to Donna, "Hey, I think he's waking up!"

She starts to rush over but trips over a board game; face making acquaintance with carpet. Eric's eyelids open to reveal glazy baby-blues. "Hey, man, you okay?"

He starts to get a dreamy look on his face and his eyes are staring right through me. I wonder if he hit his head. "Well, hello… Steven."

He's giggling up at me and now I am seriously considering making a run to the hospital to check for brain damage. "Man, why are you calling me Steven?"

Eric pouts at me, giving me puppy-dog eyes; his lower lip quivers slightly. "I'm sorry! I'll call you anything you want me to! Please don't be mad at me; I'll do anything!"

Okay, this was weird. It gets even weirder as he starts sobbing on my shoulder; apparently heartbroken that he had called me the wrong name. I shake him off of me, setting him on the couch. "Christ, get off of me!"

I am absolutely puzzled. He didn't even fall that hard – why would he act this way?

My eyes turn to Donna; she has the caught-in-the-headlights expression. "Donna, what the_ hell _did you do to Forman?!"

She opens her mouth and a long pause follows, interrupted only by Eric's whimpering and Jackie's whispers to Kelso - who still lay unconscious. I walk menacingly (I hope) towards her and cross my arms, hoping to intimidate her into responding. She seems scared pantsless.

"I…" She suddenly attains a faux-confident look. "I have no idea what happened."

Jackie watches us sadly. "It was that stupid potion, Donna. I don't understand… what did we do wrong?"

Donna groans.

Wait, what?

"Um… potion?" I ask the obvious.

Jackie strokes Kelso's hair lovingly; keeps her eyes on him. "We bought this love potion from this lady at the fair and we baked it into the cookies. We wanted you guys to worship us! That's not too much to ask, is it?!"

"Yeah, yeah it is. Idiots! You probably poisoned them!"

I suddenly feel a pair of arms circle around me. "Aw, you watch out for me, Hyde. I love you!"

I yelp and untangle myself from Eric's hug. "What the hell, Forman?!"

He doesn't explain anything though; he just stands there – gazing at me with these adoring eyes. A scream comes from across the room and I turn away from my whacked-out friend. I swivel my head to find… Kelso kissing Fez?!

Fez's eyes are wide open in shock; Kelso having him pinned on the ground. I identify Jackie as the screamer; who has fallen to the floor, hand over her mouth. Fez is wriggling underneath Kelso's body, but that just seems to encourage Kelso more. I grab Eric's hand and drag him over, only to help save Fez – but by the look on his face you would think I had just proclaimed my love for him (which apparently was something he was striving for.)

Kelso may be bigger than us but, with a combined effort, Eric and I manage to pull him off a gasping Fez. As soon as Kelso was upright, Jackie was in attack mode: tiny pinches, slaps, hits, kicks – the works. "Ow, Jackie! What was that for?"

"Michael, you moron! You were kissing Fez!"

His eyes acquire the same dreamy look that Eric had earlier. He pouted at his girlfriend. "So? Why'd you stop me?"

Jackie let out a strangled scream, and I hold her back – hoping for Kelso to not lose any limbs today. Fez still lay on the floor in shock. He swallows a few times before speaking. "Um, excuse me, but what is going on?"

Jackie and Donna tell the whole story as Fez and I stare in disbelief. I swivel around to see how the other two are taking the news – and I find Eric to be standing only a couple inches behind me. And I do not like the direction in which his eyes are traveling. I take a step away. "See, Forman. This is all because of some stupid potion. So – just – knock it off. It's not real."

He takes a step closer, making me uncomfortable. "No, Hyde. It is."

His voice is surprisingly calm, contrasting the hysterics from earlier. We lock eyes for a moment, before I turn away. This was getting way too weird. Stupid girls- why'd they have to go screw everything up?

At least he's calling me Hyde again.

Everyone's staring at me. Apparently, since Eric is incapable of rational thought, I have become the leader of the group. Fan-freaking-tastic. "Okay. How much of the potion did you put in?"

Donna shuffles her feet. "It said to just use a drop, but since we baked them into cookies. Well, um…"

"We used the whole bottle…" said Jackie, not looking apologetic in the least.

"You used the whole fucking bottle?!"

Wait, what am I saying? This was a stupid potion that they got at a fair. It's not real, right? It can't make people fall in love.

But then I look at Kelso and Eric, love-sick expressions donning their faces. And what choice do I have? It's hard to be skeptical when it's so apparent. Although, it could also be a sick joke. It would be genius if it were.

My friends are a lot of things, but they are _not _geniuses.

A resolute expression on my face, I say, "We have to find the woman who sold you that potion."

**A/N: Review, please. Next chapter in the works; but, besides that, I can't promise anything. I have four other unfinished stories right now, and need to work on them. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

The six of us are standing in a row, staring affixed at the same object: the car.

The teeny-tiny, four passenger car.

Somehow, we have lost all mode of transportation – so we actually had to resort to Fez asking his host parents for help. And this is what we get.

I expect Eric to get in the front seat and somehow maneuver everyone in, like he always does. But, alas, no. He just stands directly behind me, giving me love-sick looks, hands in his pockets. Leaving me to fix it.

Thankfully, though, I'm saved by Donna. "Okay, guys. Listen up – Fez drives, I call shotgun." She gestures at the remaining four. "Oh - and you guys can figure out the rest."

Yeah, okay. She sucks as leader.

Kelso immediately lunges for a seat (behind his beloved Fez.) Then Jackie jumps into his lap, even though he just ignores her – him gazing longingly at the back of Fez's head.

I turn and see that Eric has a mischievous grin on his face. He brushes past me (did his arm graze my side longer than it should have?) and squeezes in next to Kelso. He waggles his eyebrows at me and pats his lap.

I just roll my eyes and – with a running start – dive into the car. My head ends up somewhat on top of Jackie, hair grazing the top of the car; the rest of me lays tangled on top of Eric's lap.

Jackie screeches at me to get off her and the high-pitched voice stabs at my ear-drums. "God, fine!"

The car shakes as I attempt to readjust myself. Practically upside down, my face is in Eric's lap and my legs hang over the passenger's seat. I kick at Donna's head, since she got us into this mess. In response she yanks off my boots and tosses them out the window as Fez drives away. I lunge for her but Eric grabs my waist and pulls me back, setting me on top of him.

I squirm at the way Eric licks his lips and the lustful spark in his eye.

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"Hyde?"

"What?" I answer gruffly.

Eric moves in closer to me, I step away. We repeat this process a few dozen times before I finally give up, letting him hang out in my personal space for the moment. He motions to himself. "Am I too skinny?"

Jesus fucking Christ. "Yes."

He puckers out his lower lip and glares at me. "Excuse me, Steven. What did you just say?"

What happened to my best friend? And I had thought that Fez was the one that always acted like we were a couple. "Forman, can you, like, not talk."

His face falls and I – almost – feel guilty. "Fine. Be that way. But you are _so _not getting any!"

I'm almost too shocked to speak. I let out a frustrated scream and run up to the rest of the group. I hear Kelso complaining. "Man, we have been walking all day and I'm tired! And hungry! Fez, go buy me a popcorn."

"Why do I have to get you popcorn, hunh? I am not your servant!"

Fez seems to be taking this well.

Aren't fairs fun?

I move up next to Donna. "Donna, man, where is this lady? How could you have _forgotten _where she was set up?"

"I don't know! I could've sworn it was next to the Ferris wheel, but it's not there!"

Jackie sighs. "Maybe we should just go home. We can try again tomorrow."

"No way. No way in_ hell_ am I going home with Eric right upstairs thinking dirty things about me. We are finding her _now_!" I yell, noticing more than a few people staring at me.

The girls just giggle though. Ah, dammit. "You guys are just gonna leave me with him, aren't you?"

Donna laughs. "Yeah. Now we are!"

Jackie snickers. "Aw, it's so sweet. Two best friends finding love. Are you going to give him smooches, Steven? Is he going to thaw that icy heart of yours?"

"Argh! You are going to pay! You hear me? You are gonna PAY!!!"

Fez gives me a look. "Jeez, Hyde. Stop being such a baby."

Donna nods at Eric, who has come up behind me. "Yeah, see, you hurt your boyfriend's feelings."

I start to scream that he's not my boyfriend before I get a good look at him. Tears were streaming down his face. I gesture at the rest of the group. "You see what you did! Now he's going to want to be comforted! Goddammit!"

Eric shakes his head at me. "No, it's alright. I'm just going to go home. I'm sure we'll find her tomorrow. Then Hyde doesn't have to be tortured by my presence any longer."

He walks away from the rest of us, his shoulders hunched and his head hanging. I turn to Donna. "If I get molested tonight it is so your fault."

Then I go to catch up with Eric because, even if his feelings are just caused by some stupid potion, they're still feelings. And I don't want him to slash his wrists over me or anything. Who knows what he would do while under this freaky spell.

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I'm dreaming that I'm at my old house but the Formans are all there, and Eric is yelling about the ceilings dripping with banana-pudding. "Hyde?"

I walk into my old kitchen and see Eric in only an apron, scrubbing at the pudding-covered walls with a toothbrush. "Hyde!"

A cool hand is on my face and I bolt upright. Eric is standing over me. "Forman, what the hell?"

He sits on the end of my bed. "You don't hate me, do you?"

I yawn and resume burying my head in the pillows, hoping that he would give up all this insecure crap and let me get back to dreaming – although not to that particular dream - 'cause, man, that was just weird.

"Steven, come on, talk to me! Why are you so mad at me?"

I groan and entertain the notion of smothering him with my pillow. "You wanna know why I'm mad? I'm mad because it's freaking four AM and I'm stuck here talking to you!"

He bites his lip. Ah, come on! "Calm down, man. Fuck. Don't start crying again!"

He whimpers. "I'm not crying!"

"Why don't you just go back upstairs. 'Kay, man? We have to spend all tomorrow figuring out how to get you and Kelso back to normal. We both need some rest."

"Can I sleep down here with you?" He looks at me hopefully.

He just will not quit! "No."

"Please." He draws it out and gives me puppy-dog eyes. "You know you want to…"

I lean my head back against the cold wall. "All I want is some damn sleep, is that really too much to ask?"

Eric suddenly grins. "I'll stop bothering you if you let me sleep down here."

I tilt my head towards him. "You mean you won't talk to me at all? No whining, no conversations about _feelings, _no saying how much you love me?"

His grin widens. "Nope. Not one word."

"Forman- you have yourself a deal."

He looks like he wants to pounce on me but I hold up my hands. "No touching! And if your hand slips even once your back upstairs."

He nods his head, a silly smile playing on his lips. _Finally_, I got him to shut up.

I snuggle back into my bed, already drifting from consciousness. I feel Eric settle down next to me. I can't even yell when his side and arm touch mine because I know my bed is too small to actually fit both of us.

I move as close to the wall as possible and hope that no one ever finds out about this.

**A/N: I'm ending it here for the sole fact that I need to do some work before going to bed. I hope that I don't update this soon because that means that all the people who read my other stories will have to wait even **_**longer **_**for me to update. But, who knows.**


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